


Douce Amère

by lune_etoile



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, M/M, One Shot, everyone say thank you jaja uwu, heavy lyrics preferences to day6's how can i say, im still learning please forgive me, my first ever one shot, thank you jaja, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 23:03:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18508870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lune_etoile/pseuds/lune_etoile
Summary: Sometimes we need to find out the bitter truth instead of believing those sweet lies.But what if you don’t have to find it because you could taste it? And what if you choose to take all those sweet lies because sweetness definitely tasted better than bitterness?That is Soonyoung’s life.





	Douce Amère

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JAJAngmyeon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAJAngmyeon/gifts).



_Sometimes we need to find out the bitter truth instead of believing those sweet lies._

 

But what if you don’t have to find it because you could taste it? And what if you choose to take all those sweet lies because sweetness definitely tasted better than bitterness?

 

That is Soonyoung’s life.

 

When he was 13, he discovered he could taste the lies and the truths right on the tip of his tongue. Some might say he was lucky to have that ability but for him, it’s a disease that he wished to disappear.

 

Because all the lies that he tasted were sweet and all the truth were bitter. And when a lie is well done or when the truth is very genuine, the tastes would linger longer on his tongue and in his mouth. Long enough that the tastes could be sickening and he could throw up in no time.

 

And so, the best taste he preferred to stay in his mouth was definitely the sweetness, though that only meant he preferred to receive lies than truth. But that’s how he has been living his life since then.

 

Accepting lies. Denying truths.

 

That was until, his tongue got to taste the most bitter taste came in a form of a guy named Lee Jihoon.

 

Lee Jihoon, the most honest and genuine guy Kwon Soonyoung has ever meet in his life.

 

The truth that came from him wouldn’t just lingered bitterly on top of his tongue but they would also remain stinging in his heart painfully.

 

Soonyoung hated him. He hated the younger male so much for letting him tasted and felt all that but the latter always remained oblivious, still being the honest guy that he was.

 

Until one day a teary-eyed Soonyoung yelled at him;

_“Your lies could hurt less than you think it does and I do prefer that more than your honesty!”_

 

Jihoon tried to lie since then, especially when it came to Soonyoung. He was still clueless as to why Soonyoung was hating him for being honest but he would do anything to prevent those beautiful eyes filled with sad tears again. Because little did Soonyoung knew, Jihoon has been in love with him since they first met and has been so clear and honest of his feelings towards him. But the bitterness played it role so well, Soonyoung was blinded by his hates for the taste enough for him to unnoticed the pureness of ones’ heart for him.

 

But Soonyoung regretted it then, for the sweet lies that came from the honest guy Lee Jihoon were not that sweet either. The tastes were almost bland that he came to hate it more than he hated the bitterness Jihoon always gave.

 

He regretted and realised. He learned and accepted.

 

He realised all the honesty that he always receives from the petite guy. He realised the loves that Jihoon never hide from him.

 

He learned to get used to the bitterness that would be at the tip of his tongue more often then.

 

He accepted the foul yet amazing taste of truth, the truth of his feelings reciprocating Jihoon’s sincere one.

 

He learned and accepted, he received and treasured the bittersweet taste of their genuine loves for each other.

 

 

-.-.-.-.-

 

Yet years later, when Soonyoung is supposed to be the one that has learned to accept, today, the day that supposed to be the happiest for him, the day that his promise ring will be replace with a marriage ring, he finds himself being in denial.

 

If long ago he used to deny the bitter truths, today, he denies the sweet lies.

 

He has the right to do so, isn’t he? He has the right to deny that the smiles Jihoon gives him taste different since few days ago. He has the right to deny that the touches, the laughs and even the words that come from Jihoon taste unusual.

They’re sweet. Awfully sweet.

 

He inhales deeply as his eyes are shut tight, ears are deaf to every sound around him for he just wants to listen to his unusually loud and wild heartbeat.

 

He is getting married to the love of his life and he’s nervous hence the unusually loud and wild heartbeat, right?

 

That is the reason, right?

 

His heart wouldn’t beating like this because of all the foreign sweetness he tastes these days, right?

 

He opens his tears filled eyes and stares at the large wooden door presents in front of him. Behind this door has the guy that he loves the most, waiting for him to walk down the aisle at the altar with the rings they bought together and a long-awaited vow.

 

A genuine and sincere vow.

 

Right?

 

“You ready?” a familiar voice comes from behind. Soonyoung’s heart calms a bit at the presence of his childhood best friend, his best man, his only family and the only one that knows his ‘disease’. He nods, answering the other’s question.

 

“Did you cry? Oh my god, Soonyoung, you haven’t even walk down the aisl-“

 

“Shut up, Won. I’m nervous, okay,”

 

“Relax. You and Jihoon have been waiting for this day for so long. You have to be happy that this day finally comes,”

 

_I know I should but why do I feel otherwise?_

 

“Everything will be okay, Soonyoung. You both know each other’s heart well enough for this day to be more than just okay,“

 

_I..don’t think I know his heart enough._

 

Music starts to play as the door opens, revealing everything behind it but all that in his eyes is that one beautiful angel who is standing proud in his black suit, waiting with a wide, sweet smile plasters on his face.

 

_Sweet._

 

Soonyoung swallows a huge lump in his throat as Wonwoo links their arms together and tuts him down the aisle. The further they walk down to the end of the aisle, the closer they get to the younger male, the heavier he feels his breathing gets. He looks straight into those sweet, anticipating eyes he always loves and he finds his tongue unconsciously licks his bottom lip.

 

_Sweet._

 

They finally stand in front of each other and a laugh escapes the pretty lips as the latter gets a closer look at him.

 

“It’s too early for you to cry already, silly,” beautiful, slanders fingers reach to his slanted eyes and wipe the tears that are standing at the corner of his eyes.  Yet his eyes feel like burning.

 

_I know, right? But the taste is getting sweeter..why?_

 

The priest begins his talk. Their eyes are still on each other but his breath is getting rag by seconds and his tongue is tingling with the foreign taste. Soonyoung is denying, denying and denying all the sweetness he is tasting right now as he looks into his favourite pair of eyes.

_These eyes wouldn’t lie to me._

 

But as Jihoon begins to say his vow, Soonyoung’s hands start to tremble.

 

“I, Lee Jihoon, affirm my love to you, my beautiful Kwon Soonyoung, as I invite you to share my life together,”

 

His eyes feel like burning again as the taste that have been lingering at the tip of his tongue since earlier intensifies as words by words slip of Jihoon’s tongue.

 

“You are the most beautiful, generous and kind-hearted person I have ever known, and I promise to always respect you and cherish you with all the love you deserve,”

 

_Sweet._

 

“With kindness, unselfishness, honest and trust, I will be by your side to create and walk along a wonderful life together,”

 

_Lies._

 

“I take you, Kwon Soonyoung, to be my lawful husband, to have and to hold,”

 

_Sweet._

 

“From this day forward, for better and for worse,”

 

_Lies._

 

“For richer and for poorer,”

 

_Sweet._

 

“In sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live,”

 

**_Lies._ **

 

Streams of tears flow down Soonyoung’s cheeks. He tries his hardest to swallow the thick, sickening sweet tastes in his mouth as he lowers his head, a word barely escapes his lips.

 

_He wouldn’t lie to me._

 

A hand reaches for his trembling one, making him flinches.

 

“Soonyoung? Baby, what’s wrong?”

 

_Too sweet. It’s too sweet._

 

Soonyoung looks at Jihoon but all he sees is a blurry figure as his tears wouldn’t stop flowing.

 

“I-I’m sorry..I-I need some time, please,” he stutters, voice wavers too much for his own wills. He stumbles down the aisle, catching glimpses of worry faces of the guests, his friends, Wonwoo and Jihoon.

 

_Bitter, bitter, bitter, bitterly sweet._

 

He throws up. As soon as he’s out of the hall, he hides himself in a corner and throws up. Soonyoung cries harder.

 

_Why? Why is this happening?_

 

“Soonyoung?” Wonwoo’s voice chimes from behind him. The worries that lice the deep voice invites a bitter taste on his tongue.

 

“Is it too bitter?” the latter asks as he crouches down besides the shaking guy. Soonyoung could clearly hears the hope in his voice and he too wish it is too bitter.

 

“It’s sweet, Wonwoo. I-It’s too sweet,”  he stutters again and Wonwoo immediately pulls him into a tight hug.

 

“Soonyoung, I-“

 

“Soonyoung!” the familiar angelic voice shouts from afar and Wonwoo notices how his best friend is shaking harder than before. He sees Jihoon slightly runs to them until he is closer and only a few feet away from them. He looks his best friend’s fiancé and his heart breaks.

 

_No way this worries face is a lie._

 

Soonyoung loosens their hug and turns to his fiancé.

 

“Soonyoung, are you okay? What’s wro-?”

 

“Do you still love me?” he earns a frown from the smaller. A frown that is too sweet for his liking.

 

“Of course, I do,” Soonyoung chokes back a sob.

 

“Really?” Jihoon takes a step towards him, reaching out to hold both of his hands.

 

“Of course, Soonyoung. Should I prove it to you?” a warm, assuring smile plasters on his face and Soonyoung bites his lip as more tears stream down his cheeks.

 

_Yes, prove it to me, Jihoon. Prove it to me that all of these tastes I’m tasting are not true. Tell me that this is wrong._

He nods and Jihoon’s hand curls up to his nape, slowly pulls him down to a kiss.

 

Tears fall down drops by drops from his closed eyes as he leans into the kiss. Kissing back the lips that is his favourite, denying the taste that begins to intensify in his mouth the longer that they kiss.

 

Denying, denying and denying until the taste is burning his throat and forces him to pull away and runs to the side to throw up nothing but empty fluid and broken heart.

 

“Soonyoung,”

“You used to be so bad at lying, Jihoon. But what’s with all these efforts of lying so well?” his voice wavers, despair and disappointment mix thickly in it as he utters. His hands are struggling to hold his weak and shaking body up and he hangs his head low, letting all the tears to fall and pooling on the floor.

 

“Soonyoung, I-“ a shift of taste occurs on his tongue. Not long after, then there comes the taste he always loves because it comes from this very guy that owns his heart.

 

“I’m sorry,”

 

_Bitter._

“I just..I don’t how to say it to you,”

 

_Bitter._

“Because you’re always so happy whenever you’re with me,”

 

_Bitter._

 

“I’m sorry. Every day since I realise this, when you tell me you love me, I want to tell you I love you too,”

 

_Bitter._

“I did, but it was empty,”

 

_Bitter._

****

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t bear to tell you that..”

 

_Bitter._

“I can’t love you anymore,”

 

**_Truth._ **

****

“I can’t love you the same way as I used to,”

 

Soonyoung is trembling so much, he could no longer hold any sobs or tears back as waves and waves of emotions are slapping him hard. This taste that he used to hate so much. This taste that he has learned to love and to have it stays and burning inside his mouth because of this guy.

 

This taste that has been missing coming from Jihoon has come back and he despises it more than any tastes he has ever tasted.

 

He hears footsteps nearing him.

 

“Soonyou-“

 

“Leave,” he says, clear and heavy with despairs.

 

“Soonyoung,” worries lacing Jihoon’s voice as he steps closer.

 

“Leave me alone, please,” he sobs out and Jihoon halts.

 

“I’m begging, you, Jihoon. Leave me alone,” Soonyoung cries harder and Jihoon really wants to go and hug him tightly, begging for forgiveness for breaking the pure heart that he used to love.

 

He didn’t mean to hurt him, but he just couldn’t stay in love. He is forcing himself to deny everything too, to stay believing that he still loves this man. But he can’t.

 

He feels a touch on his shoulder and he turns to see Wonwoo with eyes fills with disappointment.

 

“We’ll talk about this later but please, leave,”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon voice is thick with guilt, eyes avoiding Wonwoo’s and glue on Soonyoung’s still trembling body.

 

“I’m sorry, Soonyoung,”

**Author's Note:**

> first and foremost a very big thank you to jaja for helping me with this. thank you for reading my long cc and even encourages me to make this into a one shot. im a bit shaking when im writing this, i dont know what to expect from this, im just trying what i think i could do. thank you again jaja for inspiring me to write this, i dont think this could happen if its not because of you.
> 
> im not a writer, i never write anything but many things have inspired me to do so (especially jaja) and though im afraid to write, i guess im just trying my best to deliver this to anyone that are willing to read this. i dont know if i want to write more but for now, im just happy that i finally could finish this. 
> 
> this hasnt been proofread either..so forgive me for any mistakes and if you like, you can leave some comments and point out my mistakes.
> 
> anyway thank you so much for reading this and again thank you so much jaja for everything. hope you guys have a great day today. ^.^  
> -bittersweet anon


End file.
